Home Sweet Home....

Well after 13 hours on a flight from China to LA then staying once again in a hotel and then flying 4 hours back to Cincinnati, we are now home.

HMMMMM.....where to start.....I can not seem to process everything I saw...touched...heard...tasted.... it was all so intense. I felt on high alert all the time trying to take it all in so one day I can share with Jake the beauty and intensity of his home country. (Ken wanted to get him a child's shirt that said "made in China" hee hee)

I should be napping right now b/c Jake and Ken are but I just felt the need to start getting some of my thoughts out.

The bonding and attachment that have already happened with Jake and us is nothing short of a miracle. I can't understand how he knows so much being so young. But in all of my struggles as a human here on earth one of the things I feel like my prayer and cry out to the Lord has always been is "why do you make it so hard for some". And looking at Jake I say that again, but this time it is in gratitude. My son is so resilient. I already know this about him. He is a fighter like his mom, when the going gets hard...well you look it in the face and keep going and the Lord watches over.

Ken's dad kept saying to us, "this little boy was made for you" and I do believe that he is very much as if he came out of the womb of our hearts, he cries because he is so sensitive and wants to be loved.
He loves to please and is always looking for positive affirmation but he has his own comical way about him. He picks up on the funny things about us and does those funny things.
Right now he throws his arms up with his palms up and mutters, " I don't know where it is" He is actually mimicking full phrases.
Everyday is a new adventure...
As I look back on the past 2 weeks, I can say that developmentally, mentally and even physically he went from being "infant-like" to now being a 20-24 mos old. And everyday he does more and more like his age.

Well as promised, I think I've included the first of many pics to come...enjoy

Jake edition #8

Another good day but we are all tired of traveling and are looking forward to going home. Jacob had a lot of fun today as he learned to kick his beach ball in the room. He has gotten so he loves the bath and cries when he is taken out. He and Kenny play and splash a lot there.

A group photo of the kids was taken today and Jacob looked fantastic in his long blue Chinese gown which Kim got him. He has learned to "high 5" when he does something good. He likes to feed the fish in the hotel lobby. We went to the pool for almost two hours today and he continues to like the water more and more. He let his dad take him out into it for the first time as well as sitting on the steps of the pool throwing his ball, splashing his hands and kicking his feet. He also enjoys playing with the Pat the Bunny book. Later today he developed bronchitis and was taken to the doctor and is now on medication for it.

Jacob's food tastes have changed as he no longer likes the rice congee but likes banana, eggs and bread.

His dumb grandparents bought him a drum from a store owned by a Chinese Christian. The parents say the drum will be held for a future special day.

Kay is now the second biggest producer of boiled water in Gouangzhou and the third largest launderer of children's clothing.

Supposedly the visa paperwork went through without a hitch so far so he will be sworn in Wednesday. Supposedly our flight for late Friday is confirmed and hopefully will go smoothly.

Pictures

Ok, read some of the comments. Sorry access to pics unavailable as our digital camera broke and I have no idea how to put the card onto these chinese based computers...meaning everything is in characters.
So when we get back. whoa will you get your fill!

Earlier Jake updates

Here is an earlier update Jake Edition 5:

The last 24 hours has been a huge breakthrough period for Jacob! He is laughing and playing so much with Deb and others and made the two hour flight from Zhengzhou to Guangzhou without any crying or problems and many of the kids cried on the flight. Part of it was because Kay got him a couple suckers which he likes and I think the sucking motion helped keep his ears depressurized. He loves those. We also bought him some milk as we were rushing to get on the plane which turned out to be an apple juice/milk mixture but he really liked it.

He has been going to Kay to hold him a little and playing a lot of games including the dreaded throwing things on the floor game which is now one of his favorites. Deb holds him facing her and then tips him over backwards (carefully) until he is upside down, then quickly rights him up until she leans back which he loves and shrieks with gales of laughter. He loves passing things and getting them back. We killed 30 minutes standing in line just taking things in and out of Ken's wallet, business cards and credit cards, passing them back to him, then he would put them back in the wallet, close it, then open it again and start all over.

We just had an excellent Thai dinner at the Cow and Bridge (?!?) and Jacob played with the chopsticks. Between waving them around and hitting his mother and the child next to him in the face, he beat out a nice smooth rhythm on the table. He and Kay played a kind of pick up sticks and a little sword fighting with them for quite a while. However, he and GWB won't eat broccoli.

We had dinner with three other adoptive families, two from Ohio, Wapakoneta and Hickoryton. The English family who live in LA organized it, Adrian and Lucy. Their boy Arthur had the bunk next to Jacob for the last 27 days before adoption.

Deb says she has lost 10 lbs between the lack of nongluten food and carrying Jacob around. He is now starting to give her a little relief as he will let Kay carry him a little and stand and play with others instead of demanding to be held all the time. He plays a lot with Ken and though he will not let Ken hold him yet, he holds Ken's finger and leans over and affectionately puts his hand on Ken's chest for a while.

We are now in even a nicer hotel with a lot of other adoptive parents (near the US consulate) and there are many shops catering to adoptive parents nearby.

Jake editions

Below is an email that Kay and Forrest (Ken's parents have been sending out) Since my time is short and they put some good words to the progress being made. The little boy is starting to emerge


I didn't mention earlier, we are at the White Swan Hotel in Guangzhou (Canton) in an old colonial compound of the city. Ken and Debbie did a lot of paperwork today and then we encouraged them to go out to dinner with the other couples at a nice Thai restaurant in the area.

Jacob now builds his blocks up in towers and then knocks them over and laughs. He also loves to throw things. this goes back to the issue of too much justice in life for those who were around when Kenny was this age.

Jacob also played hide and seek with us which he seemed to enjoy but he found it mysterious and not something that made him laugh out loud. He loves to chase Debbie around and try to catch her. they laugh so hard!

debbie said Jacob played better with the other kids today and shared things with them which is quite a breakthrough since the first rule of the orphanage seems to be not to ever give anything up once you have gotten hold of it.

there was a thunder storm today so we couldn't swim. Kay and Forrest took a taxi ride to super market and had the usual language misadventures trying to buy disposal bibs and baby wipes. We didn't see another European the whole time.

This area is quite charming and there are a lot of American adoptive couples roaming around with the kids.

Smarty Pants

Yesterday we went to the Lowman Temples and the shao lin Temple, the shao lin temple is where Kung Fu started, so all you kung fu panda fans eat your heart out. It was amazing to see more of Jake's home province. This was the first time though we got a lot of stares and people wondering why American's were taking Chinese babies....
The temple was / is too beautiful for words.. I can't wait to show you pics. The boys there start going at very early ages to become monks. Parents start to send them there around 3 years old.
we were gone for 12 hrs and now Jake has just realized I'm typing again so we'll see how long I can continue.
He is continuing to open up more and more and now he is at least playing with Ken. Ken showed him the wonderful game of shells (hide the medicine bottle under the block) a big favorite.
He continues to look to food to comfort him and we are starting to not use it as much.
We also are having lots of funny china stories as we almost got run down by 2 buses trying to pass each other as we were in a extended golf cart that was out of battery and going so slow the flintstones could have beat us. In fact the guys started to put their legs out and peddle the cart.
well I guess we are done, time for a nap. Tomorrow we fly to guangzhou which is the capital and we stay at the white swan until the following Friday.

Jacob Zhao

Little Jake,
\
a thinker, quietly pondering us. He is fascinated with "mama" he looks to me to eat, to play. The first day he fell asleep on my chest .Yesterday he mimicked everything I did with my hands.
So much to say but here are the highlights.
2 days ago when we got him to the registery, his orphanage director and one of his nannies was there. He panicked as he saw them and held on even tighter. We waved bye bye to them as we left. Yesterday we had to go to his orphanage, we paid our orphanage fee he was mesmerized by the money counter. Then when Ken and forrest went up to take pics of the orphanage, he went downstairs with me, the orphanage director came down to ask him if he wanted to go up to his floor and he looked at her with his big eyes and kept shaking his head NO.
哈

Waiting...waiting

Ken and I are sitting at our hotel business office, on the internet waiting for the time we "get the call" that Jake is on the way.
We have met the 3 other couples who are adopting. 2 of the 3 this is also their first child. The other couple has a 3 year old girl as well. All of our children are from 15-30 months old and all are boys except one. All of cleft lip/palate except one.
Everyone in China has been so nice, the funny thing is they all know why we are here. It is very obvious as the American couples all with big grins on their faces walking around in a daze. Some of the couples have been here for a day or so and have stayed at the "white swan" already. They say it was great to see all of the children holding onto their parents and laughing.
Jake actually will get delivered right to our room. So we have it all set up with toys and books and food. They say the children really scarf down the food, which is really good.
We are thinking he'll come later this afternoon.
Ken and I were up at 4am this morning, which is 4pm for most of you and it feels like Christmas, you have that anticipating feeling in your stomach and that lump in your throat that something exciting is about to happen.
We will be videotaping now as he is coming to our room, it may feel a bit safer for him and we want for him to see it later on!
The next time I write, he'll probably be in our arms!

Stranger In a Strange Land

As we have been awaiting our departure for China. I've had lots of time to think...watch the Olympics and think. I thank God for this time... as I haven't been at home to do the thousand things that I feel I have to do.
Right now I'm so nervous...can I do this...I'm so selfish...what if I just want/need a break. Mom's don't get a break.
I've been reading a book called."Lost on Planet China" a great book. The author is very cynical and funny. But one of the things that caught my eye was that in all of his negative thoughts on a country that has tried hard to destroy its past and is struggling to find its way in the present and future. The one positive thing he said was that he enjoyed seeing the American's with their adopted children. Because he had seen some of things that happened to the children who were not adopted.
I think that about Jake. What would have happened to him? But then I think that about myself as well. What if I wouldn't have had the family I did? What if God wasn't pursuing me with a vengeance, what then? Where would I be?

Ken and I are at odds whether to video our first meeting with Jake. We've decided that it would be best not to. One b/c I have this "dream" of what I want, which is at odds with what will probably be. The other is, we want for Jake to see his home for the first 2 years of his life, not necessarily his adjustment to a stranger. So we'll see what we end up with.

I'll try and post more in China so stay tuned.. we leave in 6 hours for China on a 15 hour flight.

Labor Pains

Today.... very interesting...again random breaking down into tears..... I lost my sunglasses and it was the "last" thing to check off on my list for packing. Last night I was searching the cars... with a flashlight. Scouring the house and nothing ....could not find them. This morning I woke in a panic trying to find them as well. And you might say, they are only glasses...true...but I was given them by a friend and they are very expensive and I love the way they feel and look and well they were expensive....And really that wasn't the issue. The issue is that I'm stuck in feeling overwhelmed and out of control. And I love to be in control. I can no longer control my life in this area of "Jake" I will hop on a plane ... no control...to a foreign country... definetly no control...to a child who I don't know and who doesn't know me and he has to trust that I have his best interest in mind and that I will take care of him.
And it is no different than someone who has had a child from their womb... that little package has to trust that you will feed and care for them...or they WILL die.

People think I don't know what it is like to be a mom...well I'm a mom to 15 horses and countless inner city children who depend on me to feed them and keep them safe. Isn't that what a mom is?

I may sound cynical or upset and I'm not but I think that when people make quick remarks on situations they should think ...

So I'm off to a country very little people know about ... where my son is awaiting my arrival... however he has no idea... but I know and I've been dreaming of this day for years. It is fun to think that this is how God thinks of us. He is always awaiting our arrival to know that once we have found him and know him and love him that we are forever his children.
And so that is what we call Jake...our forever child with his forever family.

Please pray for us! I love you all!

Shock

Today is the first day that I'm on the verge of tears every second of every minute.
I look at our campers here at the camp and start to tear up. I get an email and start to tear up.
I think the main reason for all of this is the anticipation of China but also is with my Grandma as she continues to be in the hospital and things are not going well.

I think of living and new life and dying and moving on.

Almost 7 years ago, I prayed this same prayer as I watched my grandma in the hospital not doing well and crying and saying she had to make it to my wedding and she had to see all the beauty in what she prayed for, for so long.
But today it is different as much as I want her to meet Jake, I want her to be in total peace and rest with Christ. I want for Jake to live with the memory of a wonderful great grandma that up to her dying day was so excited to see him.

I don't know when her day will be, I don't know when her hour will be...but I can rest in the fact that God does and he knows what is best for her, for me and for Jake.

Thoughts...

It is very interesting to me, to hear people say...you look so calm. I've gotten that a lot lately, well in the past few weeks. I guess I am calm, not by my own nature though. I have moments of panic, moments of "what are we thinking". But for the most part I feel content. There are so many "unknowns" as with any pregnancy.
There are many "surprises" with the "birth" of a child.

A friend told me a couple of days ago, with any pregnancy when the woman looks at the child if she is honest she looks at him/her and says, "who are you". Yes you are excited and you love that little package but you don't know them yet. You will spend the next lifetime learning about them.

when I heard her say this, I took a deep breath, that peace went even deeper into my spirit! That is the unknown and yet the exciting part of bringing new life into a family, learning who that person is, being a part of developing and bringing up that person's heart!

And so our prayer continues to be that even though we "know" the picture of Jake, he knows nothing of us. We pray he has seen our picture and that they have explained who we are but... for those first few hours maybe days (hope not) as a child comes into the world and cries for the comfort of the womb, we pray that the cry for his orphanage and those things that have comforted him for the past 2 years as we've journeyed to get him will not last long.
That the Lord will give him this "calm" as He has given me to know in Jake's heart that we have been chosen by God to give him HOME.

Last Call

I've set out to start a blog as I've started to learn that along this journey, I seem to get so busy that my head clouds up and I can't seem to get everything out. So about 5 months ago Amanda told me I should start one and I used every excuse not to, but I wanted to share it with my closest friends and a way to get some of my thoughts out onto a platform.
So if you are a part of this blog party, then you can decide to read or not to read. Do what you wish...

Ken and I have 4 days until we depart for China and as we are driving in the car today to do random errands again to pick up random items ....again... Ken looked at me and said could it really be that in 4 days we travel to become parents.... my heart leapt and then flipped and then I felt faint and then I thought I was about to throw up. And as I started to get tears in my eyes, I remembered that for the past 4 years we have been on our journey to become parents, maybe even farther back than that. But the difference is, in a lot of ways, I never thought it would really happen. Just as I thought I'd never get married, just as I thought I'd never have my own horse... Just as I thought that surely God didn't have this big of a plan for me.
And so I'm humbled that He has entrusted baby Jake to us, across the world, a large ocean..2 continents and that God is truly the creator of the world , not ohio, or the US.

I am also posting our itinerary so that if you want to pray, think, laugh at the thought of us all over there, you can!

8/14/08 Delta # 1234 Cincinnati to LAX arrive 2:50 pm Courtyard by Marriott. 310-649-1400.

8/15/08 Delta # 7831 [China Southern #328] LAX to Guangzhou China. Leave 11:50 pm. Arrive

8/17/08 & take China Southern # 3157 to Zhengzhou China. Arrive 4:20 pm [12 hours earlier than EST].

Staying at Sofitel Hotel in Zhengzhou. 011-86-37165950088. Guide is Yisha. 011-86-13966671625.

8/18/2008. GET JACOB!

8/23/08 China Southern #3971 to Guangzhou. Staying at White Swan Hotel. 011-86-2081886968 .

Guide is Raymond. 011-86-13112207469.

8/29/08 China Southern #327 [Delta #7830] Guangzhou to LAX. Arrive 6:50 pm. Staying at Courtyard by Marriott. 310-649-1400.

8/30/08 Delta #1230 LAX to Cincinnati arrive 6:40 pm.

Adoption agency is CCAI [ Chinese Children Adoption International]. Office # in Colorado is 303-850-9998. Emergencies outside business hours 303-350-0433.