Labor Pains

Today.... very interesting...again random breaking down into tears..... I lost my sunglasses and it was the "last" thing to check off on my list for packing. Last night I was searching the cars... with a flashlight. Scouring the house and nothing ....could not find them. This morning I woke in a panic trying to find them as well. And you might say, they are only glasses...true...but I was given them by a friend and they are very expensive and I love the way they feel and look and well they were expensive....And really that wasn't the issue. The issue is that I'm stuck in feeling overwhelmed and out of control. And I love to be in control. I can no longer control my life in this area of "Jake" I will hop on a plane ... no control...to a foreign country... definetly no control...to a child who I don't know and who doesn't know me and he has to trust that I have his best interest in mind and that I will take care of him.
And it is no different than someone who has had a child from their womb... that little package has to trust that you will feed and care for them...or they WILL die.

People think I don't know what it is like to be a mom...well I'm a mom to 15 horses and countless inner city children who depend on me to feed them and keep them safe. Isn't that what a mom is?

I may sound cynical or upset and I'm not but I think that when people make quick remarks on situations they should think ...

So I'm off to a country very little people know about ... where my son is awaiting my arrival... however he has no idea... but I know and I've been dreaming of this day for years. It is fun to think that this is how God thinks of us. He is always awaiting our arrival to know that once we have found him and know him and love him that we are forever his children.
And so that is what we call Jake...our forever child with his forever family.

Please pray for us! I love you all!