Shock

Today is the first day that I'm on the verge of tears every second of every minute.
I look at our campers here at the camp and start to tear up. I get an email and start to tear up.
I think the main reason for all of this is the anticipation of China but also is with my Grandma as she continues to be in the hospital and things are not going well.

I think of living and new life and dying and moving on.

Almost 7 years ago, I prayed this same prayer as I watched my grandma in the hospital not doing well and crying and saying she had to make it to my wedding and she had to see all the beauty in what she prayed for, for so long.
But today it is different as much as I want her to meet Jake, I want her to be in total peace and rest with Christ. I want for Jake to live with the memory of a wonderful great grandma that up to her dying day was so excited to see him.

I don't know when her day will be, I don't know when her hour will be...but I can rest in the fact that God does and he knows what is best for her, for me and for Jake.