Traveling

Seriously.... what is wrong with me in trying to travel with Jake. I know we have traveled from China but that was being a brand ing new parent and having no sense! We traveled to Michigan this weekend from Saturday at 2pm arriving at 7pm and then leaving at 1pm and arriving home at 8pm.
No nap either day. An all out nervous breakdown last night at bedtime. I woke up to tears in my eyes as Jake had taken my hair and twirled it so tight in his fist that then he was trying to rip his hand out of my hair. So I thought ok, than I'll just move down the bed. Well then he just kicked me in the head for the rest of the night as he moved around.
I am feeling very overwhelmed, under appreciated and a bit sorry for myself.
The good news is that I'm falling even more madly in love with my son and I know that is a good thing!

Fall days and being a new mom

It is amazing to me all of the things that run through my head on daily basis... what do I do now...what does he want... what do I want, I haven't eaten all day. I have drank a whole pot of coffee, oh no I've become one of those moms.
I was talking to a friend the other day and we were commenting thatwe used to be so idealistic when we had all of this time to read and study and meditate and now I've fallen into what feels into exactly what I didn't want to become. But maybe this is life now and I feel like I have to really fight to not lose myself in all of this and become embittered or disillusioned.

Jake has a bout of giardia, which is comical in the fact that Solomon also had giardia when I first got him. But he is almost done with his meds and already his little messy poops are looking better.

Well as he just fell asleep I am also going to take a nap b/c we were up about 5 times last night settling him down!

Power outages and life

First week home, Ken was home, volunteers were doing almost everything with horses..new life is manageable.

2nd week home...Ken back to work, volunteers still doing most of the horses..Mom in town..but lots of doctors appts. Feeling a bit overwhelmed with my new life... but still alive and managing

3rd week. Power goes out, back to taking care of 15 horses. power goes out, food poisoning for me, giardia for Jake... interestingly enough life seems more manageable than the first week...

I'm falling more and more in love with Jake... Ken's parents came on Thursday to watch him as I had the vet coming out for multiple issues with horses and they have been here through the rest of the week staying in a hotel so that we can take showers, do laundry etc.

Dr. Consults

After 2 1/2 hours at Children's and 7 doctors later here is what we know....

He will need tubes in his ears in the immediate future (although we are going to get a 2nd opinion, for various reasons)

He will have a reconstructive surgery with his lip at the age of 4-5 before he enters kindergarten.

He will have a bone graft done to repair the rest of his jaw between the ages of 7-10 years old.

The geneticist said his cleft lip/palate is more than likely not genetic so the odds of him having a child with a cleft lip/palate is less than 5%.

The audiologist said he is within normal range for hearing although his eardrum is not resonating as well.

The ENT dr. said that he still has some fluid in the ear and that he has a very high build up of dried wax very deep in the ear. His suggestion was tubes b/c of the fact that Jake has been so very sick since we got him.

The speech therapist said to not worry about anything for about 6mos until his speech does come in better withthis being his 2nd language but wasn't all the concerned for him as he has been catching on and mimicking so well.

And that is all for that...we go back in a year... Friday we are hoping to get into the international clinic for immunization blood work and other lab work that needs to be done!

Hospital, Doctor Time

Jake loves to make this constipated face...I guess I taught it to him somewhere along the lines...I'm not quite sure all the funny faces I make but Jake with all of his mimmicking is making me fully aware.

Today we are off to Columbus Children's for a consultation clinic with their team. I'm not sure exactly all who make up the team but I believe it is a plastic surgeon, oral surgeon, speech therapist, hmmm not sure who else. Anyway, my mom is going to go with us so that one of us can be paying attention to what they are saying. I'm a bit nervous as our time with doctor's thus far has been very stressful and anxiety ridden for Jake. He has had 2 surgeries already in China and from the look on his face when he sees anyone in white coat it is not a good memory.

Toddler Years

I'm unsure of how to start this writing as I feel like I am in between 2 worlds and they have just collided. I have just tried for the 4th time to put my son down for a nap...one I know he needs and one that I need as well. But I've been thrust into toddlerhood....I know of my own choosing...but I'm overwhelmed. This weekend was terrible. After a great day at the zoo, I've started to decline. I have been sick, which doesn't help but as I've tried to cope...I've only failed with mixing motherhood with my "normal" life.
Now I went back in and tried to get him back to sleep and he was quiet for about 3 minutes and now he is back to singing to himself. Which normally doesn't bother me but today it does....am I a bad mom. Is this much frustration a part of this whole thing?
I've missed all of the parts of his life where he needed me for everything and now he is a toddler with a mind and heart of his own....
well back to it!

Day at the zoo

We took Jake to the zoo today... He loves watching animals and he loved the zoo. It was great to see the wonder of a child! His favorites were the goats, ducks and the penguins.
He did great all day with out a nap as well.
The fascination of a child is a wonder to me. He is so independent... in a good way not a non attached or scary way.... but a normal 2 1/2 year old independence. He always seems to grateful for everything and we are so grateful for him!