Well after a long hiatus I am back. Not sure why I felt the need to stop writing. Maybe I felt a little too vulnerable, maybe I was a bit overwhelmed with it all. However, whatever the "feelings" I am back, like it or not.
For all of my "counseling buddies" out there, we all know the feeling of putting ourselves out there and on the line and I sometimes the pressure begins to well up and well maybe I just snapped.
Funny thing is, I feel more in touch with being a mom. Not that I feel more in "control" just that I feel better about all the loss of control I've had in my life for the past 7 mos. I don't get as upset about not being able to just run in and run out of a store. I don't sweat not having the time to get on and reconnect with people on the internet.
And didn't feel the pressure to have to write everyday about my experiences. I just am accepting that I am NOT super mom and I'm ok with that . It was way too much pressure and I folded, but I was never meant to handle it all as well.
I have had some great times just relaxing and being a family with Ken and Jake and also spent some time up with our friends at their cabin up North. I have to say in some ways I have begun to forget what my life was like before Jake.
We've gotten into a routine which is good and I've gotten some great babysitters so that I can attend to my other "jobs" I have to do. I am happy that winter is about over, I couldn't stand much more of it!
Well that is all for now! Michelle, I'm sure you are somewhat "thrilled" that I'm back. I think part of it was my new "do"
I do love you all that are reading this, I trust you with my heart and I hope to be writing more.
PS, this pic of Jake is one of my favs. I have it blown up in black and white in our house!
