A little up date on life, for those of you my dear dear friends who follow my inconsistent blogging. I figure if anyone looks at this anymore, they have to be good friends :) hee hee.Well after a brief shock, Jake started school 3 days after turning 3. I was up and down, back and forth, hot and cold about the entire situation. I played the pros and cons, good cop bad cop. I even got a lecture from the school psychologist on how this was in the best interest of my child. And I'm thinking to myself,"wait, I'm always on the one giving this lecture, don't you lecture ME, I KNOW this stuff". ahhh and that is really the crux of it all. I've seemingly "lost" my ability to think rationally and as a counselor, now that I'm so in love with my son.
I think now that maybe I'll pursue eventually getting my counseling license in the state of Ohio b/c I feel I could be a much better counselor now that I'm a wife and a mother.
Anyway, I digress, as usual. So after 3 weeks of being in school, it has actually become a way of life and I'm really enjoying my time while he is in school. I feel like I've had time to get a lot of stuff done that I felt overwhelmed with before. I do have 2 jobs still, not sure if everyone knew that or not :)
I've really leaned on the fact that only "Christ can strengthen me" for those things that I NEED to get done, the rest, HE will provide the time and energy for later. This whole thing has convinced me that God has set us with marriage and child-rearing as a way to continually lead us back to HIM. I don't know how else to do LIFE. I don't know how others make it, I would continually feel like a failure, a flop and a disappointment. But everyday I'm learning to say, "ok what is it that you have for me to do today" and I do it and if the rest of it on my "to do" list doesn't get done, well....oh well.....
Somedays are better than others, but such is life, right?
2 comments:
I wish I were a mom that could give you some wonderful advice as to how to hold it all together, and get it all done... but I'm not... advice isn't what you need anyway- I imagine encouragement is what you need right now. Call me- I'm always here available- especially to encourage!! xoxo- ms
p.s.
happy 1st mothers day debs!! :)
It sounds like you are doing great, Deb. And...if you lose the ability to think rationally because you are so totally in love with your son, then I think you are exactly where the Lord wants you. After all, that is how He seems to operate most of the time anyway. :)
That vulnerable, smooshy, can't make a decision for fear that it may cause some type of damage, feeling, is what, I think, makes a great mom, and at the same time, makes us crazy. You trade one for the other. It's still worth it though. And, you're right, it is what continually leads us to Lord. So, it's gotta be okay, right?
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